Lyrics by Dan Woods
I’m renting a flat. It’s so wrong.
My garden’s a mess, and the grass is so long
What am I doing with my life? I’m nearly thirty-two.
If I’m to stay ahead, there’s one thing that I must do:
I’ll buy a lawnmower to cut my grass
So everybody will know that I am middle class
I can afford one, and so I’ve bought one.
Now doesn’t that turn you on?
All of my friends are buying lawnmowers, it’s what they desire
So the value of a lawnmower just keeps getting higher
You’ll find it best / To invest
Soon they will all be gone.
I bought twenty seven lawnmowers in Dubai
My bank lent me the money, I don’t know why
They’re worth more than ever, God I’m so clever
Let me tell you how much money I’ve made.
So many lawnmowers, I have all them rented
To people who don’t own one, they must be demented.
Girls can’t keep their kit on, cause I’ve got one you can sit on.
I’m a lawnmower millionnaire.
And now a lawnmower is completely unattainable
But I believe that current prices are sustainable.
Though the credit market’s in contraction,
That’s just a short-term distraction.
La la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la, la la, la
La la, la la la
La la la la la la la la la.
It’s just not fair. I feel so depressed.
All of my lawnmowers have been reposessed .
But I still need to mow. Where in God’s name can I go?
I’m having to share a lawnmower with my mum.
Copyright 2009 Dan Woods – all rights reserved.